Complexity

勝負有時

2008-05-22T07:46:00.045-04:00

有什麼比看見仇敵風光更難受呢？只可以想到用這經文來安慰自己。

「凡事都有定期，天下萬務都有定時．生有時，死有時．栽種有時、拔出所栽種的也有時．
殺戮有時、醫治有時．拆毀有時、建造有時．哭有時，笑有時．哀慟有時、跳舞有時．拋擲石頭有時、堆聚石頭有時．懷抱有時、不懷抱有時．尋找有時、失落有時．保守有時、捨棄有時．撕裂有時、縫補有時．靜默有時、言語有時．喜愛有時、恨惡有時．爭戰有時、和好有時。」
傳道書３章１﹣８

如果所羅門王是球迷，我想他會加上「勝有時，負有時」。

逾越節

2008-04-22T17:59:00.099-04:00

基督徒不守逾越節，信主多年，從不知道正確是那一日，以為總是復活節前的星期四，偶然發現今年是剛剛的星期日起的一連７日。
今年終於經歷一個獨特的逾越節，這兩天，收到兩個offer，知道可以離開這裡。正如以色列人過逾越節出埈及，或是過逾越節然後展開迦南的戰爭，逾越節往往代表了階段的開始。

P.S.心情大好，到酒吧看利物浦對車路士的歐聯比賽（幸好不用守逾越節）。完場前幾秒，懷斯擺烏龍，斷送出線的大好形勢。人生就是如此。

伍晃榮

2008-04-17T14:38:00.073-04:00

三個月沒有寫blog，一寫就是死人。
從網上得知伍晃榮逝世，在youtube中找到許多他生前的新聞片段。重溫這些片段，我流下淚來。
這幾年香港有多位經典人物過世，張國榮，梅艷芳，肥肥...講實話，我沒什麼不捨。有的只是感慨人生的虛空，時光飛逝。其實我蠻羨慕他們的，能夠在世人心中佔一角落；而自己，彷彿只是一粒微塵。
相比這幾位演藝明星，我更尊敬伍晃榮。沒有璀璨的燈光，有的只是每日三分鐘。看着網上討論區不住的懷念留言，我開始明白到，有意義的人生，就是把微小的三分鐘做好。
求神給我這三分鐘。

畢業

2008-01-11T17:02:00.000-05:00

通過了畢業考試一個月，換言之，我已經過了一個月的博士生活。什麼是博士生活？其實只是以往的生活。

有人問我為什麼沒有去畢業禮。除了客觀原因，其實我對畢業沒什麼興奮的感覺。已故的楊牧谷牧師曾經講過，他不重視他博士的名銜，卻很珍貴他獲得博士的過程。撫心自問，我讀博士的過程並沒有帶來很多自我滿足感。一來，沒有做出驚天動地的研究；二來，沒有磨練出堅定不移的意志。因為讀博士的期間，沒有盡上最大的努力，莫名的感到對生命，對上帝的虧欠。或者，一切都因為自己心裡驕傲，只去用最不平凡的標準來衡量這幾年來的得失，以配得博士這稱呼。

試問，世上有何物是我配得的呢？難道我配得擁有學問與智慧？配得享受家庭及友誼的溫暖？配得主耶穌受死所帶來的永生？

義無反顧

2007-09-28T17:37:00.000-04:00

偶然在《科學》雜誌看到一位中學同學的名字,好奇地到Google找找他的近況,原來他在一間頂尖的研究所從事光學的研究．

記得中四第一堂物理課，這位同學舉手問老師：甚麼是光？當時的我不以為然，心想，這樣難的問題，老師又怎可以回答呢！十多年後，老師的教導想不起多少句，剩下的，就只有上課嬉戲的片段，及這位同學的問題。

雖然學科興趣相近，一直跟他沒兩句，只記得在中五的同學錄裡面，他寫下要當物理學家的志願。現在想起來，有點後悔當初常與「損友」為伴，少跟正直之士在一起。

想來我所缺乏的，就是這位同學那份對科學的義無反顧。一直以來雖然喜歡物理，卻一次又一次為自己留下退路。研究的課題也五花八門，沒有從一而終。現在正值尋找工作的時候，求神加我這種力量，助我走下去。

Kiki's delivery service

2007-07-17T16:14:00.000-04:00

宮奇俊的Kiki's delivery service（中文「魔女宅急便」）是將近廿年的作品，但小時候沒有錢看電影，從不知內容。上星期租ＤＶＤ來看，竟然如此有共鳴。
要在陌生的地方開始，實際問題很多，故事安排了很多好心人在Kiki的身邊幫助她。但內心的問題,旁人幫不上什麼。當她比較自己與其他的女孩子，比較自己的witch-dress和他人的漂亮衣服，就覺得自己是outsider，永遠沒法fit-in。自我的迷失，令她失去了從小就學會的飛行魔法。
「尋找自己的心」，故事令我想到《The Alchemist》（一本對我影響很深的小說）。畫畫女孩叫KiKi等待inspiration，因為等候，聆聽內心的呼喚叫人認識自己。故事結局是Kiki在危急關頭重拾飛行的魔法，通過飛行救人，重建自信，也重新肯定自己witch的身份，不再與別人比較。雖然電影沒有交代，我想畫畫女孩的成長也是一樣。
Kiki要離開家庭去城市生活，是作為一個witch的training，我又怎樣通過自己人生的training呢？

心結

2007-07-10T22:33:00.000-04:00

因為幾件瑣事，令自己近日有所反省.
在美國購物，很流行mail-in rebate的優惠，即是先付款，然後郵寄收據．理論上，可以在幾星期後收到一定金額的支票．前陣子買laptop, 有一個優惠，可以在after mail-in rebate後，免費得到一個IPod. IPod不是什麼必須品，但老婆喜歡聽歌，自己也想追上潮流，所以還是先付了二百大元．寄出了收據，遲遲未收到email confirm，心想說不定神要懲罰我的貪心．其實己經不是第一次mail-in rebate收不到錢．
昨天老婆提起，畢業和工作之間可能會沒有收入，應該節儉一點．這當然有道理，但我想如果我因為擔心而節儉，神會否懲罰我的小信，要我真的沒有收入？我馬上聯想到mail-in rebate的事，我知道自己內心深處錯誤理解神．
來美國前申請宿舍，因一些誤會，我們各自交了申請表和二百美元deposit．結果，我們只住一間宿舍，額外交了的二百大元理當退回，或作租金之用，但是二百大元人間蒸發，我倆投訴無門．
老實說，每當夜閑人靜，想到這二百元，仍未釋然．二百元不是天文數字, 但對於開始異地生活的我，生命中的謊謬和無助，卻成了一個心結．為了讓自己好受一點，人會想出“合理“的信仰解釋，但一切無補於事，我慢慢地picture神是那位「求餅得石頭，求魚得蛇」的父親．
電影Forrest Gump中有一角色Lieutenant Dan，在戰爭中失去雙腳，憤世嫉俗，後來重拾人生方向，Forrest說他"find his peace with God"．我想自己也需要．

Laptop

2007-06-26T21:43:00.000-04:00

來了美國五年, 一個學位未讀完, 卻買了三部laptop. 第一部用了一年給人偷去, 第二部用了三年多, 幾星期前壽終正寢.
沒有電腦, 工作大受影響, 買機故然叫人肉痛, 更痛苦的是要安裝software和設定settings, 原本的工作計劃就泡湯, 正所謂「打波先黎落雨，連個天都吾鐘意我」.
我想神並非吾鐘意我, 而是鐘意我學習交託, 但幾年的經歷久而久之, 我內心有一個想法, 神是一個為求目的而不擇手段的奸雄, 我害怕祂破壞我的生活.
生命不成熟, 失掉平安, 倚靠自己, 在幾星期沒有電腦的日子叫我反省和認清自己, 認識自己要時間, 認識神更是一生的功課. 神不是暴君, 伹有些時候祂的確會不擇手段, 祂不怕被我們誤會, 甚至不理會我們的投訢, 因為"get the work done"比一切更重要, 那個work, 不是事工, 而是我們的生命.
經過了一段安靜的時間, 終於買了第三部laptop, 任性的我明知要花更多工夫, 但為了為沉悶生活帶來新鮮, 還是買了一部Mac, 希望神不介意吧.

Bad Day

2007-06-06T16:30:00.000-04:00

I don't follow pop music at all. Today, I stumble upon this song, and I couldn't stop listening it. It is so rich that one could always find different tastes while listening. I love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIcFgl6zf3A

Star Ferry

2006-11-14T21:50:00.000-05:00

I was not aware of the relocation of the star ferry pier until last week. If I knew before, I would definitely use the pier once more during my visit last month. Even though I grew up in Kowloon, due to the couple of years in HKU, I was a frequent visitor of the pier.

I have visited quite a number of cities in europe and the states, indeed western people have a much greater respect to their history. You can always see the combination of the new and the old in harmony. I found the picture from a forum, I like the words written, thanks for the photographer I don't know.

learning from penguins

2006-11-04T22:14:00.000-05:00

More and more of my friends have kids now. May be that's why I do think about parenting. In my church, there are many kids. However, the parenting of their parents always kind of makes me sick.
The march of penguins is a moving documentary. The story is, every year, penguins meet at a place for mating, a father and a mother will work very hard together to raise a kid. When the kids are strong enough, each couple will abandon their child and let the mother nature to take care. The whole new generation thus find their own way to go to the sea and have a new life.
May be, we should understand that our kids belong to God, they are not for our own satisfaction.

14年

2006-10-19T22:53:00.000-04:00

我是1992年10月23日信主,屬靈的生日將近.
不是我選上了神,而是神選上了我.我是在一佈道會中信主,我會想,那天和我一起信主的人,有多少今天仍然信神?正如以往一齊少年團契的弟兄姊妹不一定仍然在教會.如果不是天父的恩典,如今我又會是什麼光景?
一個跟隨了神14年的人,理應有更好的表現.認識很多跟自己同年的弟兄姊妹,今日已經是教會執事,或已奉獻作傳道.他們是在迦南攻城掠地,我卻仍然在曠野飄泊.
仰望那牧養我一生的神.

愛得太遲

2006-09-06T15:54:00.000-04:00

古巨基的"愛得太遲"的確幾好聽,讓人好易有共鳴.
林夕的歌詞帶出愛需要及時,勸人珍惜眼前人.
朋友,家人,妻子當然重要,但作為基督徒,我擔心愛神也愛得太遲....

you have no idea who you are

2006-08-13T23:21:00.000-04:00

"Wait till you have been doing it longer, you think you know who you are, you have no idea." This is what in the movie "crash", officer Ryan told officer Hanson. Later on, officer Hanson, who regarded himself definitely not a racist, killed a black guy accidentially as a result of his misjudgement.
The story reminded me Peter in Bible, who promised to lay his life for Jesus, denied Jesus.
If I cannot even know who I am, how could I judge anyone around me?

阿叔 - 林尚義

2006-06-29T13:40:00.000-04:00

讀過一篇林尚義的訪問, 百感交集.
阿叔給我的感覺,一個字:草根.
拍攪笑片的糟老頭子,這時面對的,是人生的苦澀.
草根的人很少把痛苦訴於哲學,或無力的宗教(如約伯的朋友),只是承受
訪問透視阿叔的內心世界,處處流露他對亡妻的思念,與兒子關係平淡的無奈,回憶往昔球場上的風光...
訪問提到今年的世界杯,阿叔放棄捧排陣精密的德國隊, 改捧激情的巴西.既然生命不是由人操控,何必籌謀,「有前無後,打死罷就」,的確有些道理.
今年的世界杯決賽,會是阿叔講的最後一埸球賽,未能見証, 一憾.

The team I hated most

2006-06-23T17:36:00.000-04:00

From time to time, I heard the arguments whether we should support the Japanese in world cup. On one hand, they are representing Asia, but on the other hand, they invaded China in the past. Personally, I take no side on this issue. But this year, I found the team I hated most, USA.
The reason is not really related to the style they play, may be partially related to the words of the commentators, but deep down, I hate America.
Hatred is something very deep, entangled with so many personal feelings, and honestly I don't know how to resolve, or even understand.

World Cup

2006-06-08T22:27:00.000-04:00

I enjoy watching world cup. In a whole month, one could see so many things via football, it's difficult to describe.
I like to use world cup to recall what happened in my life. I like to ask myself, where were I last time? what am I going to do next time?

1994..I was having a summer job. Life was terrible. By the end of world cup 94, I was wondering what would happen in 98. "what would I do after graduating from university?"

1998..I was study master, my research was so bad, I was lost again. By the end of world cup 98, I was wondering what would happen in 2002. "I would have a stable job, but is it my destiny?"

2002.. I was a teacher, but I knew I was going to come to US. By the end of world cup 02, I thought it might not be able to watch it in 06. "am I going to finish my PhD in 06?"

2006..I am here. ..Before asking what happen in 2010, I should enjoy this month first.

Tonkatsu

2006-06-01T23:32:00.000-04:00

I like eating at Japanese restaurant here. But the names of food in menu are usually direct translation of Japanese pronunciation, I seldom order somethings I don't understand. Today, I didn't know why, the name "Tonkatsu" in the menu caught my eyes, and I asked the waitress what's that. She explained in a couple of words, my bell rang, that's 吉列猪扒.
I ordered it, but then I realized that I haven't eat that for a couple of years. Suddenly, I wanted to cry. Of course I didn't cry, but I neither didn't quite understand my feeling. May be, it's the passage of time which trigger me, or I miss the life before. But when I think deeper, 吉列猪扒 is something so common in hk restaurants, but now I almost forget such a name.
I ate the 猪扒, the taste was not that great.
I know that deep down, I project that hk is good. At the same time, I also know that it's not really true, just like the 猪扒.

What a Game

2006-05-14T22:50:00.000-04:00

FA Cup final, liverpool vs west ham.
One year after Istanbul, Liverpool played another dramatic final.
I am not superficious, I am trying to understand the meaning of "luck".
"Something is not right." I thought after the game had started for a while.
The performance of a couple of players are indeed below their standard, Kewell seldom touched the ball, Alonso made a couple of stupid mistakes. The defenders were fooling around. "These shouldn't happen altogether at the same match. The luck is not flavoring our side."
0-2, including one own goal.
Liverpool bounced back, 2-2.
"they are still not in the right track."
Several minutes later, 2-3, once again, it's really weird, 無心插柳的cross fly to the net and became a beautiful goal.
The remaining 20 minutes or so were really hard. one goal behind, the players were tired, no more attacker in the subsitution list (why? Luis Gacia was in suspension, a point everyone thought doesn't matter a lot before the game).
足球就是這樣令人著迷, Steven Gerrard scored the equalizer. A fantastic goal in the extra time.
"How can he do it? The captain, somehow the burden of the whole team is on his shoulder, the camera captured he was 抽筋 several minutes ago, and at the final seconds...." It reminded me the story in the comic book.
"The luck is back." Indeed, in the extra time, west ham had a shoot hit the post, and Liverpool won the penalty.
The game is such a reflection of life. Even though I use the term luck, I am not saying life is a bunch of random processes, as I believe God in charge of our life.
The book "alchemist" makes the following point: Right before someone achieves his personal legend, he/she has to face the toughest challenge. He/she is asked to show all the things learnt in the process, and the challenge is to test whether he/she deserves succeed. May be, that's not a bad way to think about luck.
We were taught something like "fight back; never give up; ...". All these could be found in textbook I really doubt how many of us believe these principles work. A football game opens a window, we are reminded that there is something in life we have to fight for, and those textbook principles are not bullshit.
ps. For west ham, they really played a great game, they worked very hard and actually both sides deserve to win.

Robbie Fowler

2006-05-11T13:58:00.000-04:00

Robbie Fowler was one of the most impressive player during the time I first started to watch Liverpool. He started his career as a bright star, but then became dimmer and dimmer. After he left Liverpool, he couldn't return to his top level. Lack of something, I don't know, may be the determination. that's life...
However, life is also kind to him, he recently returned to Liverpool, the fans are still so supportive, and he keeps scoring and gets a new contract. that's life.

Deserve It

2006-05-03T21:49:00.000-04:00

I got admitted to a summer school in france, I am going to spend a month in the middle of the French Alpine. On one hand, I am really excited, but on the other hand, I feel nervous and I am always wondering if I deserve all these good opportunities.
I realized that I have a problem: I want to use my "own ability" to achieve and put God in a supporting role.
Say if I work hard and publish a paper, I would thank God. But deep down, I put God as a supporter and I somehow the succeed as my own contributions, and that's why I feel unhappy when I could not see my own part.
It reminds me the prayer of the Pharisee.
"'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get." He did good stuffs, but he thought that's his contribution. He deserved.
I am still far away from understanding the meaning of thanks God. I hope I could truly understood everything I got are entirely from God.

A car "accident"

2006-03-28T22:03:00.000-05:00

An incident happened when I was in Baltimore. One night, we went to a supermarket. While I was entering my parking spot, my car scrape the one in the next space. We got out and have a look, a scratch was made in the car (of course not mine). The car is a brand new honda. Oh......
I was in a kind of dilemma. "Big Big trouble!". "Even more, i am in a new place, rules may be different." "God just helped me in my talk, now he gave me something more." (by the way, the parking spaces in Baltimore are smaller than those in New York. )
To be honest, I did want to leave. Luckily, Stella said we couldn't.
We decided to wait a little while. A minute later, the owner came. We told her what happen. She was very upset (who won't? a brand new car), but she decided not to ask for anything.
We were relieved, but more importantly, we did the right thing.

a conferece

2006-03-28T21:39:00.000-05:00

Stella and I went to the APS march meeting. The conference holds every year at march. We went there 7 year ago when we were studying our master degree. This is our first time since 1999. 7 year is really a long time. I tried to recall my feeling in the conference 7 year ago.
In terms of a researcher, I have improved. But in terms of a person, I have got older, and I felt difficult to digest the feeling.
The most valuable thing in the conference was, I met an old friend. We lost communication since we graduated. He came to US right after graduation, and he has just finished his PhD. I understood this as God's "plan", but again, it's not easy to swallow the bitterness. I sensed that he had gone through a tough time. We were good friends in christ, but he no longer goes to church. I was afraid to ask him...

Story of an mp3 player

2006-03-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

Waiting is always difficult. For unknown reasons, I have been put in situations where all I could do is to wait quite a lot of time. Recently, I ordered an mp3 player online. On the day when it was supposed to be delivered, I got nothing, but the tracking record online said it had already been delivered.
"Whether I want to do something to improve my life, I'll put myself into stupid troubles."
"Instead of sit down and enjoy music, I have to make thousands of calls."
"I have many things to concentrate on, now I am distracted again."
Negative feelings popped up immediately.
I decided to pray, and forced myself not to be distracted. That's a point I learnt after so many times of waiting.
Life is good to me this time, the next day, my neighbor knocked my door and told me a package was delivered to her, hidden somewhere in her patio, so I got my player back.

Rest

2006-03-07T18:41:00.000-05:00

Recently my work is driving me crazy. I have to prepare for a conference, finish a paper, and in I am in the middle of a busy project. For a long time, I keep thinking on fulfulling all the tasks. Probably. this is not the way God want. I was sick last week, fever for a couple of days, and was forced not to work. Once again, I realized I have to rest in God. The only thing I could be is to pray, asking him to in charge of my schedule.

"Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." James 4:13-15

the story of Hagar

2006-02-19T14:21:00.000-05:00

The life of Hagar, written in Genesis, is a very touching story. Motivated by a tape I listened to in the fellowship, I read the story again.
I am deeply impressed by the fact that our God showed his care to Hagar, which was just a maidservant. It's not difficult to imagine that Hagar had a very bad self-image. She might had a hard childhood in egypt, else she wouldn't be a servant in a family living in Canaan. As a servant, she had nothing to proud of; she had no choice in her life; she became a "machine", carrying a baby for Sarai.....
Her poor self image is probably the reason why "she became to despise her mistress when she knew she was pregant. Succeed cannot help a person with a bad self-image, on the other hand, it leads to unhealthy responses which deep down in heart, makes the person worser.
Her first touch with God cured her, but might not be fully. After the birth of Issac, Abraham sent her and her son away, she collasped in the middle of desert. I tried to imagine her thoughts at that moment: the bitterness of her whole life floated up in her heart, there isn't any body, in the middle of nowhere, she and her boy, no water...
If God didn't show up, her thoughts might lead her to dealth. "God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water." I guessed the well itself was not a miracle, it was there, but with all negative thoughts in her mind, she was unable to see the hope.
As far as I remember, after the two touches with God, the bible didn't mention Hagar anymore. I think she still suffered a lot in order to raise her son, at least her life was bitter compared with Sarai. However, she probably learnt to look at herself at a new perspective. The love from God helped her to justify herself, and the hope brought her positivity.

Blizzard 2006

2006-02-15T18:56:00.000-05:00

A frozen pond near my apartment.

Patience

2006-02-07T22:26:00.000-05:00

I haven't written my journal for quite a week, as I have been concentrating on a project. I awoke at the middle of the night last night. While I was trying to sleep again, many thoughts came up, and I realized that I lost the peace and patience in God. Today, I try to slow down, spend a while on sorting the pile of papers. Suddenly, I feel much lighter, he is the one who knows the progress.

Renormalization & Self-Consistency

2006-02-02T21:55:00.000-05:00

Recently, I'm struggling between two methods in solving a research problem. One is called renormalization, in laymen terms, it means to find a particular viewing angle so that one can make your problem 'looks' simplier. Renormalization involves forgetting some irrelevant details of the orginal problem, and of coz, 'irrelevant' is relative to your target research interest. The second method is called self-consistency, naively it means first, assume your problem belongs to a certain simple class of problems that can be solved in standard way, then see where it leads to. In the case where the conclusion is obviously not 'consisent' with the assumption, change certain parameters in the assumption until self-consistency is achieved. A few days ago, I realized these are also common methods for people to deal with real life siuations. Yet, one cannot go back and renew your decisions in the past, so in real life 'self-consistency' is not possible, but its cousin, 'self-deception' is popularly used. Yet, people who use the method of 'self-deception' always think they're just using the method 'self-consistency'! My boss wanted to stick to the method of self-consistency, and I want very much to follow the method of renormalization. If we really understand the problem well, we should be able to renormalize it! Maybe my boss also wants some 'self-deception' to easy the frustration in research !

Chinese New Year

2006-01-29T16:48:00.000-05:00

I am not a big fan of chinese new year. But I do miss the crowd in Hong Kong.
Today, b/s shared their testimonies during Sunday service, that's pretty touching. A brother mentioned a point that I found inspiring. God bless us, may not because of what we do, nor even his own mercy, but his promise to the people around us, say God blessed Soloman because of David. In this sense, we should refresh our mind, we owe God for everything we have, in addition, we do owe our parents, our b/s, and many people we don't know.

driver license

2006-01-28T14:38:00.000-05:00

I made it.

driver license

2006-01-28T13:53:00.000-05:00

Today, Stella have finally passed the road test. We are very glad. To us, it's far beyond a license. Failing in the test, merely a symbolic representation of all the tear we broke into and unhappiness we faced in this stupid country. Those rude examiners, their bad languages sort of summarized many things we have seen.
We are hurt, not by a couple of people, but the whole world (i know it's just a feeling, not true).
A sister I met in church made a wise observation. "No need to envy those people who are in good shape, they are (or they seems to be) just because they have been stuck here for a longer time ." I like this thought, and it's really true. We have been stuck for a long time, therefore we get our license.

Against Manchester United

2006-01-25T22:20:00.000-05:00

Liverpool was beaten by Man United, a single goal happend in the 90th minute. It keeps bugging me this week.
"I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all."
Football is such a realistic reflection of life. When your team loses, or millions of stupid things happen in life, one still needs to move on...

God should....

2006-01-21T22:59:00.000-05:00

We experienced God in many aspects of our daily life. We heard many other Christians' testimonies. These are good and they indeed help us to understand God, but it's terribly wrong if we believe we have figured out sort of protocols of how God works.
Paul and Silas traveled to Philippi after Paul had seen the vision of Macedonia. Just a couple of days, they were put into jail. If I were Silas, I would ask Paul, "hey, are you sure the guy in your dream is really a Macedonian?"., as I expect such a direct message from God "should" lead to an exciting journey.
When I bought my car from a friend, it was possible to reduce (or even avoid) the tax by lying about the price. I decided not to, and spent several hundred bucks. To be honest, I had a feeling that God "should" bless the car and me. Unfortunately, the car did bring me troubles, I spent more than a thousand on fixing it.
Clearly, God is not working according to a manual we wrote, and he is the one who has absolute right to do whatever on us. We are servant and he is the Lord. To bear in mind is, his will is good, pleasing and perfect.

holiday

2006-01-18T10:32:00.000-05:00

Monday was a holiday. We drove an hour to visit Ikea. Honestly, I do think that's quite stupid. However, I like visiting Ikea, even there's no need to buy anything. The stuffs are nice. We did a lot when we were in HK. I urged Stella to buy a piece of furniture but she refused. I know that our current arrangement is sort of optimal, but I always love to see something new, some changes...
Monday was our third time to visit Ikea in here, the previous time was almost two years ago, when we started to rent the studio we are now living. I remembered God blessed us in all those arrangements...
After Ikea, we found a cantonese restaurant, we tried a couple of dim sum. That's my hoilday.

Endless

2006-01-15T23:01:00.000-05:00

"Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body." Ecclesiastes 12:12

Browsing the large number of different sessions of the APS march meeting, the feeling of the meaningless in endless scientific work came up to my mind again. This few years of living enable me to know better the meaning/meaningless of life. Once again, if I were not here, I could not have the perspective I have right now.

So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. Ecclesiastes 3:22

Winter

2006-01-13T00:12:00.000-05:00

something new

2006-01-12T23:47:00.000-05:00

I can't remember starting from when, I have been trying to do something new. Nothing special, I just want trigger something out there. So, here I am.